No sweets update

So I'm in the fourth week of no sweets. It has been hard. Wait let me change that. It has been HARD. Like I spend a good part of each day dreaming up reeses cups (side note, andy doesn't like reeses cups or guacamole, it makes me wonder if he has taste buds or he is a robot because, well, I regularly dream about each, anyways...). I have had a couple of slips.

The first time was for Valentines Day, Andy let me choose where we ate and I choose Cheesecake Factory. Talk about setting yourself up for failure. There was absolutely no chance I could go there and not eat 1,000 calories worth of sugar. I did it for the name of love, really though.

The second time was this past weekend I went to a baby shower and just totally forgot I had given up sweets. So I ate a sugar cookie and a lemon bar, then six hours later while I was weeding our flower bed and thinking about all the delicious food at the shower it hit me that I had sweets. I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with my memory, I will totally be the old lady with sticky notes all over my house that say "Turn off the stove" and "Lock the front door" except I will be like 30 years old...

So how's that for accountability? I messed up twice but I'm feeling pretty good about how good I've done, especially considering I'm the girl that could, and frequently would, down half a bag of chocolate chips as a "light snack". We've also been trying to eat healthy. It helps that Andy has gotten on board because for everyone that knows Andy, you know he does nothing half way. This weekend he found a good healthy menu planner for us and spend most of Sunday cooking up chicken, fish, turkey meatballs, and buying tons of fruits and veggies for us for the week. I feel like tonight will be a true test for two reasons: 1) Andy will be gone the next two nights doing fun stuff till late and I'm kinda jealous 2) my friend gave a sheet of coupons to Dairy Queen last night and DQ+Me=love. So here's hoping I can stay strong this last week!

And in the true spirit of being transparent I also want to just put it out there that a couple of weeks from now we are having ourselves a good old fashioned eat-tons-of-greasy-food-and-feel-terrible-but-somehow-it's-still-worth-it trip to San Antonio with some friends and I will be partaking in both

3 pound cinnamon roll from Lulu's


and a 47 inch pizza from Big Lou's


Watch out San Antonio! You've got the Luksys family coming and they've been eating salads for a couple weeks so they goin to tear you up....

the best idea ever

Make your own grilled cheese bar....






I can't wait to do this again with more toppings. I'm thinking more cheese, sliced pears, maybe get a little fancy and get some prosciutto up in there! We ate our with some spinach, tortellini, sausage soup. And if you aren't up for all the toppings do me a favor and just try sliced apple on your grilled cheese- it's AMAZING! You are welcome.

What's that hairy thing?

Ruby has noticed we have a dog and LOVES to watch her. Molly is very cautious around her and usually steers clear of her. However the other day I laid Ruby on the bed and Molly came and snuggled up by her and Ruby just kept petting her, well petting as much as a four months can, mostly just grabbing her hair but Molly didn't seem to mind. Hopefully these two will be BFFs!


*melting*

5 Months!

Man! A lot has happened this past month. I'm so excited about all the milestones that are happening and will be happening in the next few months. She is turning more into a "real" person and less and less of a floppy little newborn. It's been really fun and she is becoming so aware of her surroundings and really wants to play and interact a lot. She seems to be a really happy baby and is very content most of the time.

Alright, let's do some 5 months old Ruby facts:

She has two teeth coming in! It's so stinking cute. So far it hasn't affected her sleeping (thank you Jesus!)or mood any, but she definitely chews on everything.

She is definitely a tummy sleeper, within a few minutes of laying her on her back she is already on her tummy.

She is getting better at eating. So far she likes sweet potatoes and bananas, doesn't like avocados. We will try avocados again but for now when she gets them she makes a very clear "ick" face which is pretty cute.

She is just mesmerized by Andy. When he is home she just stares at him. He is one handsome guy, I get it ;)

She can reach out and grab things now which is pretty cool. This has made feedings challenging at times when she wants to hold the spoon.

She definitely likes being around lots of people. This past week we didn't get out much and she seemed to be a little fussier, probably bored with me. Then yesterday we went to church where she stayed in the nursery, then a baby shower where she got passed around, then a bar-b-que where she was passed around again, then we were at care group that night till 9:30pm. It was a busy day, she rocked it out. No crying. No fussing. My little social butterfly.




My love


This girl loves her sweet potatoes, I love that they match her hair perfectly!


Not so fun week, Ruby and I both got sick :(


Smiling machine




Ruby LOVES her bouncer!


Stylin'


Our little family

What else? Sleep.

So sleep training stinks. Like a lot. And I really didn't think we would do it because I feel really strongly that babies just need to have their needs met and form a trusting relationship with the world that they will be taken care of.

This is good in theory. Then you have a baby.

Then your baby starts waking up 10+ times a night and won't stop till you rock her back to sleep. It was no fun, I was even more a zombie that I have been the past few months but in the spirit of taking care of my baby girl it seemed like a small price to pay. Then it wasn't just me that was sleep deprived- she started getting bags under her eyes and was really unhappy and cranky all day. Waking every hour was rough on her too. That was when we decided we had to do something. Luckily we had an appointment with our pediatrician coming up. He said it was appropriate at four months to start letting her cry. I was still hesitant.

So we came up with a game plan. No more pacifier. No more sound machine. No more swaddle. We were scared. I felt bad about doing such drastic changes all at one but thought we would just rip the band-aid off all at once instead of delaying the inevitable. Plus she had started rolling over and freaking out because she was facedown in bed and couldn't move because her arms were swaddled up.

I couldn't do the hard-core cry it out thing. I can see how that might be more effective but I just kept thinking "is it learning to self soothe or just learned helplessness?". I just imagined Ruby lying in bed thinking "why doesn't my mom love me anymore?" Dramatic and crazy? Yes. So, needless to say I made many, many trips into her room to soother her, but never picking her up, just patting her on the back and talking to her. We had rough week or so but then something magical happened.

We woke up one morning and it was 8am. SHE SLEPT 11 HOURS! After nearly a month of not sleeping for more than 3-4 hours max we were shocked. Shocked and deliriously happy! That was a couple of weeks ago and she has slept at least 10 hours a night since then. We are also rocking out nap time. She usually sleeps 11am-1:30pm, 4:30-6pm, then goes to bed around 8:30pm and sleeps till 6am when I feed her and then she goes back to bed till 8am or so. YES! (That was for me, I'm just so happy!)

So here's the thing. This was the first parenting we have done that required us looking at the bigger picture and doing what's best for her not what just feels right to us. Up until this point parenting has been pretty straightforward- she needs something- we give it to her. I am so proud of Andy and I for going through this past month or so together- it's been a crazy one but we survived!

A beautiful sight

Rice Rice Baby

She ate solid food! I mean she didn't eat a bacon cheeseburger or anything, but she ate some rice cereal. (We are waiting at least a few more weeks before she gets her first greasy hamburger because we are just good parents like that ;) ) Anyways, at her last pediatrician appointment he said she is ready when we are. Like I mentioned in my last blog post for some reason I wasn't 100% ready to give it to her but decided I was just being crazy and she had been pretty obsessed with us eating for a few weeks now and we might as well give it a shot. I was expecting it to be very anti-climactic. I thought we'd give her a few bites, she'd spit it out and then I could go on my merry little way and not approach the solid food issue for at least another month or two.

Well, Ruby girl once again showed me what was up. She woofed down the rice cereal. We were shocked. I mean she leaned forward, opened her mouth for the food, swallowed most it. It was impressive. We finally found something she takes after me- little baby girl is an EATER! I can see us now having long and involved talked involving the best toppings for pizza, or just simply being giddy for weeks in anticipation of birthday cake. I love Andy, but he eats as a way to keep living, don't believe he's ever used the word "life changing" to describe food the way I do quite often. Now maybe this is a big leap considering she's only had rice cereal once but leave me alone, I need this. I was weirdly emotional about the whole experience and just how fast she is growing up. I am so very excited to show her the big world we live in and just how good all the food God gave is but it is also a tony bit bittersweet my snuggly baby is changing so very quickly. Blech, enough of that lame hormonal mom stuff, let's get to the messy face pictures. I will spare you all and not post the 15 minute video of the event, but will say I've already watched it three times (My name is Ashley and I'm addicted to my baby).

A little unsure at first


Still unsure but warming up to it


The verdicts in- she likes it!

I ate trash cookies

Earlier this week I woke up and said to myself "Self, today we are going to be healthy, no eating peanut butter out of the jar for lunch, no sitting on the couch watching my work out video (again), no justifying thin mint after thin meat till you realize the whole sleeve is gone" I felt good. Despite the fact I had had this same pep talk nearly every day for the past month I still believed that maybe today would be different. I even threw away 1/2 a package of cookies! I knew if they sat on the counter all day, well they wouldn't be sitting there very long. So I threw them away.

Let's fast forward about six hours. I had finally gotten Ruby down for her nap, just finished lunch, had things to do that I didn't want to do- the perfect storm for my junk food relapse. Good thing I didn't have anything sweet to snack on... Then I heard a voice "Ashley! Look! We're down here!" The cookies were talking to me! Okay, maybe they weren't but they might as well of been because it was like there was a spotlight on them, I could see nothing but them peaking out from underneath a pile of carrots peel and two wet tea bags.

So I did it. I dug out the cookies and ate not one, not two, but THREE TRASH COOKIES! And yes, they were delicious. After I came down from my sugar high I had yet another talk with myself. "Self, I'm pretty sure normal people don't eat from the trash. Maybe you have a problem". After a pretty intense argument where I tried to justify eating out the trashcan I finally admitted that my sweet tooth has gotten kind of crazy. So what this long, disgusting story is leading to is this....

I am not eating any sweets this month.

I just shed a little tear when I typed that. It will be hard. It will probably get ugly . I need to proclaim this publicly so I can have a little accountability, my sweet friend Rachel has even agreed to do it with me! It seems like such a stupid thing to have such control over me and I'm sure it may sound a little dramatic but remember- I'm the girl that eats trash cookies...