Update on Hank the Tank

What a journey. Seriously. You guys know....this kid... Whew! A beautiful, strong, increadibly smart handful that we love. He has challenged us in everyway possible. From birth to right this very moment (someone doesn't want to take a nap right now) he has been crying. Crying for something we didn't know. We've brainstormed every possibility. We've prayed. We've cried, oh how we've cried. We've yelled more than we should. We have felt heart broken that our baby boy is so unhappy. 

Our struggle is so tiny compared to what some parents go through, so I barely got a taste of this, but I believe that there is no worse feeling on this earth than not being able to help your child. I remember one night when he was itty bitty I was resolute that this would be the night we would be able to rock him to sleep and not lay this hysterical child down in his crib for him to scream by himself for an hour. Well, we rocked that baby for eight hours of him crying on and off. For eighteen months we've wanted to hold him and rock him to sleep but most the time he won't let us. So there was more crying. 

Then we would complain to all of you guys and feel like you thought we were making it up. As much as he was a screaming, crying mess at home, he was social, active, smiling kid with other people around. I'm sure you all believed us but when you see a really happy kid and then the parents are telling you that he cries 2-3 hours a day, the stories don't quite add up. Thanks for supporting us even though the little toot never acted up in front of most of you.

Okay, so let's get to the news. We finally have some answers. The back story to how both of these things came to be is very cool and clearly has God's hand in it. That's for another long winded email though...

First thing that happened is through friends we suspected he may have some sensory issues. We took him to an occupational therapist who has been doing this for 25+ years. I was a little dubious of the whole thing but when she started describing specific behaviors these kind of kids may exhibit and it was like she was describing Hank to a T, well, I was sold.There were a lot of examples but I will try to list a few- banging his head into pillows/couch cushions, crawling into small spaces, not liking light, gentle touch, not liking swinging, having a hard time with transitions. So, we got the diagnosis of sensory processing disorder, specifcaly with a vestibular and tactile sensitivity. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it but the short version is he feels the world very differently than we do. It sounds so weird but I was so happy with the diagnosis. I've had 18 months of knowing in my heart there was something off but just being told over and over by the pediatrician that he is just a high needs kid. She gave us lots of exercises to do at home to help him and hopefully we will be able to go back semi regularly for more therapy.

Okay, the second thing that happened is a big one. This was another thing that has made me feel like a complete crazy person. I KNEW he had food allergies. He had just terrible eczema from the time he was only a few months old. I've researched it like crazy and tracking what this kid has eaten has been my obsession the last year or so. The pediatrician did a blood test for allergies at 6 months- nothing came up. Then he tried again at 15 months- only walnuts came up positive which we already knew (scary experience!). We took him to a very experienced pediatric dermatologist who assured us that there was no connection between wheat and eczema. I felt neurotic but I cut wheat out of his diet and low and behold his face cleared up. Randomly though, once every week or two his face and neck would break out really badly. I suspected corn and tomatoes. So a friend of mine was having some issues with her son and got him allergy tested and found out he had a multitude. She encouraged me to try as well and we did that today. So here's are the food sensitivites we are dealing with:

Grains (long list including wheat)

Corn

Eggs

Sugar

Nuts

Tomatoes

Nighshades (eggplant, tomatoes, bell peppers, all chili peppers including jalapenos, habaneros, all chili spice mixes, paprika, pimentos, tomatillos, etc)

Glutamates

Salicylates

Amines

Those bottom three I haven't had a much time to research but my understanding is that it's a chemical in a lot of things, including fruit. The good news is that these things are treatable. The really good news is that I'm not crazy. I had just about decided I was making this whole thing up and give the kid a piece of bread. Just goes to show that mother's intuition is real. 

If you are still reading you must really love us because this is getting way long. We are just feeling very hopeful that between finding these two things out in just a few days time we have really gotten some prayers answered. Just knowing how to deal with Hank better and having more empathy for what he going through is going to change everything. Our confidence as parents has really gone down, we haven't been particularly joyful, it's just been really hard. Dealing with SPD and all these food sensitivites isn't going to be easy but compared to having a miserable kid, well we feel pretty blessed to know what we know and when you know better you do better (hopefully!).

Love you all. Thank you to our friends that came and rocked Hank late at night when I just couldn't anymore, brought us meals, and helped us so much. Thank you for still putting up with us even though we were emotionally bankrupt and pretty zombie-like. Thanks to our family for loving and praying for us from afar. It truly does take a village and we've got a good one. Hugs and kisses to you all!