I ate trash cookies

Earlier this week I woke up and said to myself "Self, today we are going to be healthy, no eating peanut butter out of the jar for lunch, no sitting on the couch watching my work out video (again), no justifying thin mint after thin meat till you realize the whole sleeve is gone" I felt good. Despite the fact I had had this same pep talk nearly every day for the past month I still believed that maybe today would be different. I even threw away 1/2 a package of cookies! I knew if they sat on the counter all day, well they wouldn't be sitting there very long. So I threw them away.

Let's fast forward about six hours. I had finally gotten Ruby down for her nap, just finished lunch, had things to do that I didn't want to do- the perfect storm for my junk food relapse. Good thing I didn't have anything sweet to snack on... Then I heard a voice "Ashley! Look! We're down here!" The cookies were talking to me! Okay, maybe they weren't but they might as well of been because it was like there was a spotlight on them, I could see nothing but them peaking out from underneath a pile of carrots peel and two wet tea bags.

So I did it. I dug out the cookies and ate not one, not two, but THREE TRASH COOKIES! And yes, they were delicious. After I came down from my sugar high I had yet another talk with myself. "Self, I'm pretty sure normal people don't eat from the trash. Maybe you have a problem". After a pretty intense argument where I tried to justify eating out the trashcan I finally admitted that my sweet tooth has gotten kind of crazy. So what this long, disgusting story is leading to is this....

I am not eating any sweets this month.

I just shed a little tear when I typed that. It will be hard. It will probably get ugly . I need to proclaim this publicly so I can have a little accountability, my sweet friend Rachel has even agreed to do it with me! It seems like such a stupid thing to have such control over me and I'm sure it may sound a little dramatic but remember- I'm the girl that eats trash cookies...