Thoughts...

So I was sorting through my inbox this afternoon and found an old email that makes me laugh, wanted to pass it along....


If I say "You're killing me, Smalls" and the person I'm talking to looks at me with confusion and doesn't know why I' ve called them Smalls, I question why I'm friends with them.

Why is "No." the abbreviation for number? There's not even an o in the word number.

Capri Suns never had enough juice in them.

Sandwiches always taste better when someone else makes them.

When I have to work late, the last thing I do is send a somewhat meaningless email to my boss, just so she knows I was in the office until at least 7:53.

Used coffee and soda cups are like mini-trash cans for your car's cupholders.

If filling up the garbage can in the kitchen as much as possible before taking out the trash was an Olympic sport, I'd be so dominant that people would accuse me of being underage..

In Home Depot today I saw a product called "Liquid Tape"...that sounds an awful lot like glue....

It might look like I'm enjoying the cool music on my iPod with my headphones on, but I'm secretly listening to your conversation.

Why is it that what seems like a perfectly acceptable volume for your music when you get out of the car is entirely too loud when you get back in?


If I show up to work an hour before my boss, I am doing whatever I want for that hour.

Dear Pringles, Now that I am no longer a child, I can no longer fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness. Work on that. Thanks.

You are a "haha" person or an "lol" person. Either one is fine.. but everyone makes the choice.

Cops should be able to pull over people who don't turn right on red.

I'm happy with my non-iPhone, non-Blackberry cell phone. It makes calls when I press the green button and stops them when I press the red button, and I can even send text messages. This is probably already more functionality than I need.

The English language needs a word to describe the situation where two people start talking at the same time, then both stop at the same time, then both offer that the other go first at the same time.

I don't understand why everyone with superpowers is either a superhero or a supervillain. What about superlazy? If I was Spiderman, I would use my powers to get the remote. Oh, my stupid roommate left it next to the TV? THWAPP. If I was the Human Torch, I would never ever wait for my oven to get to 350. I would have Funfetti cake now.

I have the deepest desire for my turn signal to be perfectly in sync with the person in front of me.

I wonder how much of my memory is devoted to song lyrics.